bieber fever is making me nauseous.

29 Sep

granted, i’m no longer a teeny bopper so perhaps that has something to do with my astonishment at bieber fever. but this post doesn’t have to do with j. biebs himself. this is about the ludicrous hairstyle he has inspired in grown men.

justin bieber is 16, so his haircut, while still ridiculous, is appropriate for his baby head. but listen, tom brady: you are a 33-year-old superbowl-winning quarterback. i don’t care if your lady friend is gisele bundchen and she likes the biebs bowl cut on you. (gisele, you should know better than that anyway; you’re a supermodel.) you were the epitome of rugged masculinity before you decided to emulate a child. and all you have to say for yourself is, “ah, you’ll have to speak to my wife about that.” where is your dignity? where is your mirror?!

grown men ’round the world, please don’t take style tips from a boy going through puberty. if justin jumps off a bridge, are you going to jump off a bridge, too? (yes.) and fyi, when justin completes his adolescent development, his cherubic voice will be gone forever, leaving him with nothing but several million dollars and lustrous, flowing locks. you’d be out of your mind to imitate someone like that.

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